One Of The Worse Parenting Feelings

I think that one of the worse feelings you experience as a parent is how you feel when your children are ill.

Helplessness

Worry

Stressed

Sick to your stomach

Wishing you could have it for them

I am blessed with having two healthy and fit boys who on the whole are well and full of beans. They get colds a plenty of course, and have suffered with teething, just like any other child.

But when your child is really poorly and doesn't eat, doesn't want to play much, has a high temperature which makes them sick, sleeps a lot of the time and is just surviving on 24 hour calpol/ibuprofen doses it makes you feel dreadful.

Having to rush off to A&E dressed only in their pants because their temperature is too high

Bringing up water because they have a very high temperature.
Their diet of calpol/ibruprofen making them have a very bad upset tummy when only water comes out

Seeing their usually robust and chunky little bodies shrink in front of you, revealing their ribs more and their little tummies sticking out when they stand up, but so flat when they are lying down outstretched

They suddenly appear so fragile and small. 

It upsets you and it is hard at times not to let it show in front of them.

You have to disguise how you feel on the inside and put on a show on the outside to make them feel comforted. The complete opposite to how you really feel.

Upbeat

Cheery

Happy

Smiley

Dry eyed

And seeing their Daddy, who usually manages to hide his feelings better than me, as I am an emotional wreck since becoming a Mummy anyway, show signs of being visibly upset is sad too.

And what breaks my heart more than anything? When despite feeling so unwell they can manage a little smile for you

Now I am well aware that whatever it was that Burton had last week, it wasn't anything too serious thankfully. After 5 days of having a temperature of 40.3, and still not knowing what he had or why he had it, he is on the mend. There will be times of course, when he, and his brother, will be unwell again and may well be worse than how he was last week. I am fully aware of this fact.

I am also fully aware that I only have to endure these worrying moments sporadically and not all the time. My heart goes out to any parent who has a child who is constantly ill, or requiring hospitalisation and treatments or operations. I honestly do not know how they manage to stay strong and upbeat. I crumble after a few days, I cannot imagine how it must be when day turn into weeks, into months and even into years. I guess they have no choice. They just have to get on with life and cope. It is a way of life. Their way of life. These parents have my upmost respect and admiration (and I do not mean that to sound patronising in anyway).

It also makes me think of the families you see on Comic Relief, for example, who don't have easy access to a health clinic or hospital. Who don't have clean water and food. How must they feel when their little ones are ill?

Being a parent is the best feeling in the world. Yet it can also create the saddest ones too. It makes you appreciate what you have and I feel extremely lucky and thankful.

on the mend :)