Chapter 1 : Stand Up Weeing
So, recently I have had a situation with Burton that I have had no prior experience of dealing with before, and I found myself totally unprepared for it too!
Him being caught short while out and about!!
Now the first time this happened I had taken him and Jenson to feed some ducks, and I had actually taken a my carry potty with me in case this happened. However, I don't know if this applies to anyone else who uses/has used this particular type of portable potty, but I find it a right pain in the behind to open!
So there we were out in almost the middle of nowhere when Burton exclaimed that "me need a wee mummy" . Right, thought I, that's ok as I have the potty with me. Except try as I might I could not open the blasted thing and I was aware that Burton had started to perform his wee dance, maybe you know the one as your child might have his or her's own version of it. Burton's is where he kind of jigs on the spot! I know at his point that I am relatively safe still as he is not yet grabbing his willy, when this happens I know that time really is of the essence!
Anyway, I couldn't open the my carry potty, and there was no way that we would be able to walk back to the car, get both the boys strapped back in, put the pushchair back in the boot and then drive off to find a toilet. Therefore, there was only one thing for it, Burton was going to have to wee outside. Now the easy thing to do would be to get him to stand up but he has never attempted this before so I didn't bother trying to get him to do this now. Instead I thought I would get him to squat down as I would do this if it were me that needed to spend a penny. But Burton didn't quite understand what I was trying to get him to do and there was no way there would be enough willy clearance, and therefore, his pants and trousers would get wet. So in the end, I picked him up and hovered him over a fence which had the pond behind and beneath him, as I hoped that by doing this it would be like using a potty. It worked ok, although Mummy did get a little spray action on her boots! But at least he was able to go and we laughed about it afterwards and he thought it was funny that he had taken a wee outside.
Then a couple of weeks ago, whilst visiting my mum, we went for a walk and while Mum took her dog round the field, the boys and I went to a park. We were having a great time and then suddenly Burton announced that "me need a wee mummy". Oh bu**er I thought, we were about a 10 minute walk away from Mum's house and I didn't have a key to get in anyway and I had no idea if there was a public toilet nearby. So there was only one solution: a wee outside in the park. There was no one else around and it was all grass, so I took him behind one of the wooden walls and pulled his pants and trousers down, which he was trying to remove and I was telling him there was no need to! I was also holding Jenson so this was no easy task I can tell you! This time I thought I would get him to stand upright because there was no where for me to hover him over and as I was carrying his brother, I had no option but to make him stand and pee.
Now I am a female and I cannot stand up and wee, I have to sit down or squat so I don't really have any experience of urinating like a boy/man. So I don't really know how to explain to my 2 1/2 year old how he should 'perform' whilst in an upright position. I was telling him to stick his tummy out and sort of push his bottom in but all he kept trying to do was air down! It seemed do be taking ages and I could see he was on the verge of just going. In the end as a last resort, I told him to lean his arms on to the wooden wall in front of him and I held his trousers and pants back and he did a wee!! Yay! Success!!
The thing is though, surely it should be his Daddy teaching him this I mean he has had experience, he uses this method everyday! Yet I ended up having to teach our son - me!!!!
Well sort of anyway!
I never expected to be teaching my child that when I became a Mummy!
When our eldest, a daughter was being potty trained, she tried to stand and pee because she had seen daddy do it that way. Well, suffice to say, it did not work out for her, so I told dad, he had to sit down and pee just in case she walked in on him again!
ReplyDeleteAs a single mum (at the time) I had to teach all three of my boys to do 'the boy wee' as they called it. They grasped the concept eventually but they still can't aim worth a damn and the eldest is twenty! My youngest is nearly six and still can't wee standing up, he looks at his Daddy and I like we're insane if we suggest it.
ReplyDelete@Catherine: One of my twins, now aged fifteen, decided that she also wanted to be like Daddy and wee standing up. I have to give her credit, she gave it several tries before admitting that it might not be so practical after all!
Ha ha welcome to my world! I have definitely been there a fair few times. The very first time it happened with O he ended up peeing down his clothes over his and my shoes, so I developed a nifty thing where they stand up and I hold them at an angle so the wee goes on the floor and nowhere else! It is an art though! I am not looking forward to going through it with A as she will need a whole new set of rules!
ReplyDeleteoh that made me laugh! I agree on the carry potty and even when you get it open, sitting on it is a pain! I have only ever set it up in the car with the little one - then it works! At least you know Jenson will have his brother to learn from when he gets to the potty training way. The little one has two brothers as her best friends and she keeps on talking about weeing the boy way. A little girl trying to stand up and pee is pretty messy as Catherine says!
ReplyDeleteNoah still does not pee standing up and he starts school in September - hoping that because Daddy is off for six weeks holiday in the summer he can teach weeing standing up and bottom wiping! I feel it is his duty! He he great post. x
ReplyDeleteI had a good giggle reading this, then I read it to the hubby and told him that this part of parenting would be his job. Even as a child myself, I flat refused to wee outside and as a result can hold for hours and hours to go in an actual toilet, however if I had the necessary man tools for weeing standing up that I wouldnt have minded as much. This definitely feels like daddy territory. Looks like your OH will be having some company in the bathroom for a while as Burton learns. X
ReplyDeleteApparently they make them stand at school here, my friends boy is 3.5 and he insists on standing at home now too, she hates it as it tends to go everywhere! I have wondered how Leo will react if we are out with no toilet. this week we've braved public toilets for the 1st time, went ok but he didn't like the 'big' toilets at the airport, as most here are just one or two and never have anyone else in them, he got scared by the hand dryers and all the noise..... oh and heard the woman next door weeing and started clapping and saying 'yeah, there's a tinkle in the toilet, she's clever'
ReplyDeleteI had the My Carry Potty for The Boy when he started toilet training but I actually found that the splash guard at the front wasn't big enough for little boys; I think it's a better potty for girls than boys.
ReplyDeleteI'm in denial about the whole standing up thing. Daddy can teach him
Things like this make me think it is easier having a girl when it comes to the good old toilet habits! x
ReplyDeleteThis had me in stitches, it was so funny! I am making mental notes about this for when it's Zs turn. Its not occurred to me that we might have to improvise when it comes to wee wee time. Eeeeekk!! Well done on balancing Jenson in one arm whilst getting Burton to wee though!
ReplyDeleteI think it's easier training a girl than a boy. My little one loved piddling standing up, that was the only way I could train him. That and the stool. x
ReplyDeleteHahahaha! Thomas loves weeing outside and is quite often 'caught short' at the playground. I think it's much easier to be a boy in those situations. The worst was when he suddenly announced he needed a poo at Wellington country park. We were MILES from the front where the loos are, I ended up having to hold him while he squatted in the bushes! Luckily i had some bags on me so I picked it up and threw it in the bin! The joy of kids :) xx
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